Caption that Shit

The good Dr. Eric has another competition for you all!

Karin the red @thekarin http://thekarin.wordpress.com sent me a tweet that had this amazing photo of a snowmen gathering. We began coming up with hilarious headlines and captions and now its the rest of you readers turn to try.

Below is the photo. Write a caption, quote or headline in the comment section and I will judge which one makes me laugh the most. The winner will get a sweet prize which will probably include some sort of meal or drink with yours truly. I may also throw in some other swag and broadcast your winning title through my social media world.

I'll get the ball rolling, haha...


Snowmen are outraged that the New Miss Snow-woman is actually an ice-cube

The first ever Frosty the snowman convention draws record attendance

A mass hunt is on for Bill's left Oreo eye last spotted in the mouth of the Johnson's family dog

Snowmen protest Wizard of Oz release claiming the phrase "I'm melting" is too soon

Your turn to make us laugh!

BOOMSHAKALAKA

It's true it's true. NBA Jam is coming back! Last month EA Sports revealed that NBA Jam will be available on the Wii later this year. Check back every week to vote for who you think your starting 5 should be. 3 weeks down and they haven't done the Raptors yet.

This will mark the first Raptor appearance in the NBA Jam franchise. I started to think about who on the Raptors would be great for NBA Jam and the options are slim. Maybe they can have Vince Carter return. Chris Bosh would be the obvious choice but the other 2 spots, hmm...

Demar DeRozan and Andrea Bargnani I honestly think are the 2 closest players to the all around skills NBA Jam requires - speed, dunking and shooting

My team growing up was always the Knicks with Patrick Ewing and John Starks although Scottie Pippen seemed to be a favourite amongst most people.

So make sure to cast your votes! That's all for now, the Dion Phaneuf trade is still sinking in and I got some bigger blogs coming up. Promise!

The Lost Art of Skatebowling

November 3rd 2003, three Mount Allison students sit in their residence rooms after a long day of classes with stomachs full of half cooked Chimichangas from meal hall, sending them into a near zombie-like state. Meal hall food can really make a student do weird things on a cold night and that is how the idea for a new campus sport was developed. Having lost their mobility from the lack of nutrients in their past 3 meals, the students are forced to propel themselves on a skateboard in order to reach the bathrooms. Another student (one who passed on the Chimichangas), full of energy sees one of the other lackadaisical students slowly heading down the hallway on a skateboard. Craving some excitement, the happy go lucky student grabs the other zombie student on the board and hurls them down the narrow, straight hallway. At that moment the Chimichanga’s effect on the human body were diminished, causing the student on the skateboard to awaken and become overwhelmed with a sense of fun and adventure. All they can shout out is half a “Wee…” before they slam into the side wall. The students in the hallway all open their doors to see what had happened, only to find that student standing with a huge grin on their face, a twinkle in their eye and a gaping cut on the forearm. The sport of Skatebowling had been born.

It’s almost as if no explanation was needed. The residents of Hunton House knew exactly what their peers were thinking – Creating a sport that combines the thrill of skateboarding and bowling minus any athletic ability. Quickly, the guys rounded up anything they could find that they could crash into. A few empty 2L pop bottles from the recycling area were salvaged and a pillow was placed at the end of the hallway. Each student took their turn sailing down the hallway on a run-down skateboard, crashing themselves into the pile of pop bottles. A scoring system was not needed at this point as the creators felt it would damage the “purity of the sport”. It was a simple sport, for the people, where anyone with a willing heart and lack of fear to be slammed into the wall could participate. Rules did have to be established and that night the three creators drafted the first known rulebook of skatebowling. The rules were simple:

- The skatebowler must stay on the board for the whole run
- A player must stop propelling themselves before the “line of no return”, which often was placed 7 – 12 feet away from the pins
- Other players may distract/taunt the skatebowler until they begin their run
- High fives must be given after every successful run

With only 4 rules, the sport became one of the most complex campus sports in Mount Allison history. But before that inaugural night was complete, one of the creators looked down at the surplus of leftover costume pieces lying on the floor from the past Halloween night. It was decided that each skatebowler must equip themselves with several pieces of the costumes, whether it was wearing the cape or the antlers or chemistry goggles.





Within the week, nearly every resident on the 3rd floor of Hunton House including other students of nearby residences had participated in the sport but it wasn’t long until Skatebowling received its first casualty. It was fitting that one of the creators was the first to experience the potential pain that a player could experience. After several successful runs, the young lad grew cocky and decided to increase the speed of his runs. Flying down the hallway, he knocked over all the pins but failed to land in the safety zone, smashing his forehead into the fire escape. A minor concussion a scar in the shape of an “L” on his forehead would be the price of his reckless methods. From there on out, the sport adopted the “multi-pillow” safety zone.

No one knows what happened to the sport after those students left the residence in 2005. Some say the sport still gets played on quiet nights in residence when students don’t feel like studying for exams. Others say the sport faded with its creators but is forever apart of the campus culture. Perhaps one day the sport will be picked up on other campuses and the spirit of camaraderie and stupidity will once again flow through the halls of residences across Canada.

Critical Dunk

First things, I thought I'd stop with the titles using Blog puns. New year, got to try something different. Like a bandaid quick and painless, on with the blog...

The Toronto Raptors last week hosted the San Antonio Spurs. A google search of Tim Duncan to see if he would be playing lead me to an article that revealed Duncan was well known for just his basketball skills but also his skills with a d20 and wizardy. Tim Duncan plays Dungeons & Dragons! Not only that, he originally wanted to be called Merlin when he first entered the NBA and he even has a wizard tattoo of Merlin and another one of a skeleton Jester.

Why don't other NBA players take part in some D & D campaigns, if they're worried about it being bad PR it can't be any worse than Gilbert Arenas bringing guns to the locker room. That's real badass and now you can't play basketball and may lose millions of dollars.

I think a bunch of players should get together and form a party to take part in an epic quest. It could be saving a princess, battling an evil wizard or most likely a quest for the ultimate treasure guarded by the David Stern Dragon. Here's who I think would take part in a quest and what characters they would pick. Keep in mind a well equiped D&D party should be balanced with varying classes...

YOUR STARTING LINEUP FOR YOUR 2010 D&D NBA QUEST....

"at the Wizard position. Tim Duunncan!" I already mentioned he plays as a wizard but also because he's older, wiser and collecting 20ppg, 10rpg and 3apg for a big game is Magical.

"defending the party. The fighter position, Kevvvin Garrrrnet!" Defensive player of the year and intense as hell. This guy gets amped and is ready to fight every game and every battle encounter.

"in the shadows, ready to steal. Chris Paul the Thief!" Leads the league in steals for the past couple of years. He's quick and always maneouvers around his opponents to get a sneak attack steal or kill.

"Giving the party some religious faith. As the Cleric, Michael Redd!" Redd is always injured yet finds ways of healing himself to come back for a spur of games then gets hurt again. He is also quite devote in his religious faith even putting money aside to build a church for his father.

"Rounding out the starting 5, a monk who flies above the human realm, Kobe Bryant!" Kobe just is crazy, he is capable of dealing deadly strikes that are fast and is always flying around the court. Oh yea, he also studies Kung Fu and learns meditation from head coach Phil Jackson.

Other notable classes and players a.k.a. the D&D bench:

Paladin: Dirk Nowitzki, growing up in Germany he served time in the Military and is loyal to one team - The Mavericks.

Barbarian: Yao Ming, from the exotic lands of China, Ming stands half a foot taller than the majority of big men in the NBA. You can hardly understand anything he says either.

Druid: Nathan Jawai. Jawai was found playing basketball in sandals in the outback of Austrailia. He knows the land and is in touch with nature. Only a matter of time before he gets too knowledgeable and gets busted for possession.

Bard: Lebron James. The showman, The King does a bit of everything and always looks to impress. Loves the spotlight and entertaining his teammates.

I also think that you could totally do a D&D basketball game, unite Nerds and Jocks!

Dog Rescues Blog

Some people were upset with my post about why North Americans don't eat dogs but eat cows instead. All I'm saying is read this article and tell me if a cow has ever saved someone!

Pretty awesome eh!

2010: A Space Blog-essy

2010 is here and it couldn't have come any sooner. 2009 was definitely not a year full of fond memories. Most of the year I was sitting on the sidelines of life either with injuries or lack of funds from unemployment. A lackluster amount of accomplishments and too many disapointments totalled up to be one of the worst years I've ever had to deal with. But out with the old in with the new. I predict a big year and decade of major changes in not just my life but also throughout the world...

Here are a few things I think we can look forward to in the next decade:

- Cyborgs! A recent article in National Geographic revealed that people are officially receiving bionic limbs such as hands and legs. These robotic body parts can move digits such as fingers and toes just like a regular hand. This will give rise to cyborgs as many people will opt to remove different parts to replace them with robotic parts. I'm already trying to register for a new back that will sprout wings allowing me to glide short distances when I jump from rooftop to rooftop.

- Elbow and Knee Tattoos: All it takes is one really well done and publicized inkwork and before you know it everyone will be lining up to get their elbows and knees tattooed. The draw, it will be a test of control as many times a needle touches the elbow the reflexes will kick in. Watch for a lot of these tattoos to be smeared on jumpy people.

- The Rise of Bulgaria: Did you know that shaking ones head in Bulgaria means yes and nodding means No? This information is not well known to the other nations and this will lead to many tourists mistakingly agreeing to marry Bulgarian women. This will result in a dramatic increase in population and by the end of the decade Bulgaria will become an economic powerhouse.

- Summer Scarves: I've seen a few people in Queen West wearing scarves in the summertime! Perhaps this isn't just for style but rather these people know something that we don't. Increased exposure to UV rays? Another place to conceal small weapons? Who knows but more people will start to wear them.

- Hoverboards: These are way overdue but I think towards the end of the decade the public demand will be at it's highest for the R & D of hoverboards.

Here's to 2010. I hope you continue to stick with Dr. Eric through this year as I try to make some major life changes of my own. Including the possibility of a switch to Wordpress as Blogger is getting on my nerves.

All I want for Christmas is my blog to be...

My Christmas wish for this year includes...

- Health (includes a new back, left hip and left knee)
- Wealth(enough to get my own place/start an agency/bar within 10 years)
- Success (a job that will turn into a career)
- Love (to have more people love me)
- Traffic (let's get more people hooked on this site)

I would also like to wish my following of readers a Merry Christmas and my christmas gift to you is a drink on me. So get in touch with me to collect your gift:

Scott Rosien
A_Mandolin
Danielle Charlton
Lindsay http://lindsah.blogspot.com/
The King of the Zombies http://kingofthezombies.blogspot.com/
Daniela
Victoria
& Sara http://goodmangilman.blogspot.com/

Check out those blogs, great reads!

As a gift for all of you check this out from thebasketballjones.net and check back tomorrow to see more goodies that I want to share.






Sleep well, Santa is on his way!